Grandiose Behavior, delusions of grandeur
Exaggerates their own importance at expense of others.
Overestimates their abilities, intelligence, and judgment.
Live beyond their means.
Refers everything in the environment to themselves.
Are unaware of the needs & feelings of other people.
Rigidly judgmental outlook.
Accompanies the grandiose behavior;
Intense impatience.
Desires immediate satisfaction of their demands.
Childish-behavior and attitudes.
Easily bored.
Changes feelings from moment to moment.
Can suddenly "pick up their marbles and go home."
Unable to enjoy with more mature people, things like reading, conversation, movies.
Rationalizers
Can rationalize and justify their own irresponsible behavior.
Over reacts to situations.
Attaches a disproportionate intensity of feeling to an ordinary insignificant event or mishap (a missed phone call
or losing a hand at bridge, etc.) - harbors a hateful resentment toward a superior for rather trivial reasons or for
no apparent reason.
Self-centered - considers our own agenda more important than that of others.
Addicts have been described as “Egotists with inferiority complexes.”
Self-Defecting Learned Behaviors (Also See Codependency)
Caretakers
Learn to base their self-image on how much they can do for others, but they never learn to take care of
themselves. They tend to breed dependency by setting things right, bailing others out, etc. and do not allow
others to take on the responsibility for their own actions. As these generally feel responsible for the happiness
of others.
They often feel they need to ‘bend the rules’ to bail people out of the trouble they bring on themselves.
They sometimes wonder why so many people lean on them without being sensitive to their needs once in a
while.
They find it easier to take care of others than to take care of themselves.
They never have enough time to accomplish all of their tasks.
They become preoccupied by talking about other people’s problems over their own.
People-Pleasers
Learn that their self-esteem is based on never making anyone angry or unset. They learn to lie habitually and
directly. They give away their power and are always in a state of emotional starvation and often end up in
abusive relationships.
They have trouble saying ‘no’ even when they know they should.
They often say, “It doesn’t matter,” when it really does.
They seldom feel angry, but often hurt.
In the name of peace, they try to avoid talking about problems.
They usually feel that other people’s needs and opinions are more important than their own.
They often apologize.
They would rather give in than to make someone mad.
Martyrs
Learn that life only has meaning when there’s plenty of suffering going on and truly believe that life is supposed
to be a struggle. Aggressive martyrs form relationships with passive, trembling types. They are usually willing to
do without so that others can have what they want.
They often feel that they have terrible luck.
They feel that it is natural to worry a lot about other people.
Their first impulse is to say no when something fun to do comes up.
Their second impulse is to wonder why they tend to refuse a good time.
When life runs smoothly for a while, they begin to anticipate disaster.
Are the drama Mamas who often seek out physical or emotional ailments to then seek the sympathy of others to
play along.
They believe that life is a constant struggle and accept suffering as their lot in life.
Workaholics
They rarely feel that they have accomplished enough.
When they try to relax, they experience more guilt than pleasure.
It often appears to them that others are in their way.
They put less value on personal time than on work time.
They are intimidated by unfinished business.
They spend more time, energy, and effort on projects than on relationships.
Perfectionists
They can never be happy or satisfied because the bases for their worth is un-attainable, since nothing is ever
perfect on earth. Nothing is ever quite good enough. They practice becoming who they are then start training
others to do the same. They are often amazed at the incompetence of others.
They can’t stand it when things are out of order.
They find the world to be unpredictability vexing if not intolerable.
They worry a lot about why they haven’t done better.
Personal failure is the worst thing they can think of.
It seems to them that standards are slipping everywhere.
Tap dancers
They base their self-esteem on staying loose; never making a full commitment and becoming experts at creating
back doors. They are masters of the half-truth and only relate to those who are willing to let them dance
around. Caretakers and people-pleasers are sitting ducks for these, the masters of manipulation.
They find it difficult or impossible to tell anyone the whole truth.
They would rather end a primary relationship than to make a binding commitment.
Figuring out what they can get away with is their excitement.
They have an abiding fear of being “caught” or “cornered”
They always have a “Plan B” in mind for an escape.
To avoid detection, loneliness and boredom these often work hard to stay at the top of their game.
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